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Mild-mannered Paul Blart (Kevin James) has always had huge dreams of becoming a State Trooper. Until then, he patrols the local mall as a security guard. With his closely cropped moustache, personal transporter and gung-ho attitude, only Blart seems to take his job seriously. All that changes when a team of thugs raids the mall and takes hostages. Untrained, unarmed and a super-size target, Blart has to become a real cop to save the day.
Olive, an average high school student, sees her below-the-radar existence turn around overnight once she decides to use the school’s gossip grapevine to advance her social standing. Now her classmates are turning against her and the school board is becoming concerned, including her favorite teacher and the distracted guidance counselor. With the support of her hilariously idiosyncratic parents and a little help from a long-time crush, Olive attempts to take on her notorious new identity and crush the rumor mill once and for all.
Emperor Wang (the Perverted) is leader of the planet Porno and sends his mighty “Sex Ray” towards Earth, turning everyone into sex-mad fiends. Only one man can save the Earth, football player Flesh Gordon. Along with his girlfriend Dale Ardor and Professor Flexi-Jerkoff, they set off towards the source of the Sex Ray, unaware of the perils that face them!
Texas Ranger Roland Sharp is assigned to protect the only witnesses to the murder of a key figure in the prosecution of a drug kingpin — a group of University of Texas cheerleaders. Sharp must now go undercover as an assistant cheerleading coach and move in with the young women.
A turn of the century wild west show struggling to make a living in Mexico comes into the possession of a tiny prehistoric horse. This leads to an expedition to the Forbidden Valley where they discover living dinosaurs. They capture one and take it back to be put on display, leading to inevitable mayhem.
The Burlesque Lounge has its best days behind it. Tess, a retired dancer and owner of the venue, struggles to keep the aging theater alive, facing all kinds of financial and artistic challenges. With the Lounge’s troupe members becoming increasingly distracted by personal problems and a threat coming from a wealthy businessman’s quest to buy the spot from Tess, the good fortune seems to have abandoned the club altogether. Meanwhile, the life of Ali, a small-town girl from Iowa, is about to change dramatically. Hired by Tess as a waitress at the Lounge, Ali escapes a hollow past and quickly falls in love with the art of burlesque. Backed by newfound friends amongst the theater’s crew, she manages to fulfill her dreams of being on stage herself. Things take a dramatic turn though when Ali’s big voice makes her become the main attraction of the revue